Thursday, 2 February 2012
I am writing this blog because of a video that I recently saw online about black women. This lady who was a stunning black woman was giving an account on her view on black women being single mums and staying with ‘dogged out’ (as I would put it) black men. And I must say she made some very valid points. From my point of view I do believe that black women have to take some responsibility when their relationship breaks down because as this woman states we chose them, therefore why are we surprised when they cheat, when they are always broke, when they can’t even get us a birthday/Christmas/valentines card. And I know...I’ve been there a few times before. After my last failed relationship with someone who I felt was a waste of time but taught me a lesson about myself. He lied from day one had all sorts of girls and secrets then I was shocked when he cheated and was having threesomes and all of them sexual relations. I was hurt, distressed. Then one day I realised, well if I never engaged with this guy in the first place, this could have well of been prevented. I took a look at my self-confidence, the way I carry myself and the sort of men I attract and I realised I am choosing to form relationships with these men. So rather than changing my type or changing something to do with the man, I decided to change myself. And yea it gets lonely sometimes but it’s really worth it because I know there’s a decent man out there I just haven’t met him yet. I realised I’ve kissed enough frogs, played around with many hyenas and it’s time to stop, focus on what I want. What I want from life and how a relationship can benefit me rather than hinder me and cause upset. I want to say to all women out there, because it’s not only black women making the same mistakes, that you don’t need to sleep with this ‘dogged out’ men to feel loved or have his baby to make him love you. (Furthermore, if he aint a good man, what makes you think he’s gonna be a good father, I don’t get why you want to have an idiot on lock. Anyway another argument for another day). Women should unite, stop hating and criticising each other. We should love one another, compliment each other. We are all beautiful loving people who deserve to be loved. And there’s a deserving man waiting to receive all the love you have to give.