Monday, 12 September 2016

10 Day Blog Challenge Day 1: Whats holding me back?

So today’s post is very open, raw and vulnerable as I am currently taking part in a 10 day blog challenge and this is the first blog of the challenge.
So Lets Go....
 My life currently consists of work, work and feeling tired from work.

I can’t lie I use my job as an excuse as valid as it might be, still an excuse of why I am not currently where I want or meant to be. Also it has thrown me out of alignment massively as it is not what I want to do but the money is not too bad, actually my highest paying job so far. Yet I am grateful to the company I work for as the people are amazing and I’ve had some really great experiences with them. But the pull between leaving my job and wanting-to-do-my-own-thing-but-not-knowing-what-I-really-want-to-do AND then being scared of not having an income has thrown me into a mental despair.

So most days I just feel sorry for myself and this is excuse number two holding me back from where I want to be. Its forever woe is me, people will never/don’t understand etc, etc. At some point I just need to get over myself and get on with it. However not all of this is pity, there are some things that maybe if I spoke about or helped others understand could actually help inspire and maybe pull other people out of their woes. Lastly I lack motivation and inspiration to move forward in life as I don’t have a real passion for anything, I currently live to pay my bills. Sad as it seems that’s my life right now and when my bills are paid I don’t know what I am going to spend my money on!! Haha. Currently to get out of this rut, I am looking to leave the country within the next twelve months and go on an adventure somewhere else which has got me excited. And although I’ve been feeling this way for the last few months just no life in me, plodding along, dragging myself out of bed  (I am NOT depressed btw for all you psychologists lol), I have started reading a really exciting book that is about taking action before you even have a passion, before you even have a real reason to get out of bed as life is about doing the things you love even if you are unsure of your destination.

As what happens is along the way as you are more in alignment your purpose will come to you. So I am taking action in various aspects of my life at the moment (including this blog challenge!) I rarely talk about how I feel (personally) in any of my posts so this is very cringe worthy but I hope someone somewhere got something out of it and I look forward to the other challenges!!

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